Silently Wishing

I heard his voiceless feelings when I looked in his dark deep eyes. The warm wind caressed his face when he coldly cast a glance at me. I couldn’t move. My heart wouldn’t release enough energy for me to breathe. Until his eyes left mine, my chest seemed to have a hundred horses running fast in a race.

While trying to win air in my lungs, I could feel the sadness existing within him. His lackadaisical attitude also worried me, it totally drew out my hope. I didn’t, couldn’t believe that with my next breath, I felt so hurt again.

My heart began thudding painfully. It was not because I felt rejected, but because I felt sorry for him.

Watching him from afar, trying to divert my attention to something that wouldn’t bother me this much, I failed. And to my surprise, I wanted to run beside him and steal his sorrows.

I released a sigh when the reality captured my consciousness, I was like a kid writing a composition in the corner to someone who didn’t even know her name.

Unspoken

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As the sun sets, it leaves me with feelings I don’t have words for.
How I wish darkness consumes everything in me that is inexplicable.
‘Cause today, as I tried to¬†go back in my old life, the sad pain in my voice betrayed me.
Neglected to find what frustrates me, a day wasted.
As the cold night calls me in pain, I let sadness cover me like a blanket.

I thought…

Many times I believe I have perfectly moved on, but when someone from afar looks exactly like you, my heart pounds so fast that I could hardly catch my breath.

One breath in, one breath out.. One heartbeat, two heartbeats.. Here we go again.

Memories hurriedly flash into my consciousness. You were like a crystal back then.. Just the sparks from your smile could make me shiver in place. You were a crystal that lightened me from the inside and, unintentionally, gave life to my smiles. And that was the time when you barged into my heart.

There was no doubt, I fell for someone who I thought would be here by my side forever. ‘Cause as my heart quickly grew for you, I didn’t know you were slowly crashing inside of me.

The crystal that I once knew was gone forever, leaving my heart hanging with questions I didn’t have answers for. It hurt so much that I wanted to cry. The kind of hurt that reminded me with every beat of my heart that we couldn’t be together.

The life you gave to my smiles easily died. Everything turned into sadness.

I had this feeling of dying without your presence for so long. You told so many excuses that proved to be lies.

I had to swallow the reality that you spoke all those unrealistic excuses for me to be your option. I had to believe that you left me for someone else. I had to accept that I was in the situation which I never imagined to exist. But I didn’t have enough strength to do these. All I had was the strength of my perpetual love for you.